I’m only accepting headcanons anyway. But this is so damn long lmfao. My bad. I just love Zen he was my first love holy shit this was such a good request thank you. AHHHHH

Zen

•Though he balances his priorities between you and his work, there are times he finds it difficult to pass up a job opportunity when it comes along. Especially with his career taking off. So it’s highly probable that he had to miss out on an anniversary or maybe just an important night for the two of you. And during this situation, it’s safe to say the relationship between you and Zen has been a little shaky recently anyway, or else one little incident won’t be enough to really drive you apart. So yeah, let’s say this has been going on for a while

•Normally, he can keep his temper in check, but there are times it slips through the cracks and he can’t help it. Specifically if he’s extremely stressed out. So if he comes home to you carping about missing a special date, and just badgering him with all these questions and hyped up with all this anger then yeah Zen can’t take it. It’ll likely lead to a big fight, the biggest fight you two have ever had

•Zen is highly capable of saying some pretty awful stuff. He just can’t help it when he’s that frustrated. What exactly he says that gets you mad enough to suggest breaking up, who knows. Could be something along the lines of “What happened to encouraging me and being there for me when it comes my acting? Why are you like this now? Can’t you see this is important to me? And you wonder why I spend so much time at work now, it’s because I know when I come home you’re going to be on my case and it’s annoying. I do it to get away from you, because I can’t stand it anymore!”

•Zen immediately regrets saying all of this of course, but what’s done is done. Assuming this is enough to suggests you two ‘take a break’ (though to Zen that’s pretty much ‘we’re breaking up for good’) he panics. He’ll plead with you and tell you that he’s sorry. But if you don’t listen, he just gets irritated again. It’s best just to leave at that point or else he’ll spit out more harsh words

•So you come back soon afterward and try to pack up your things (assuming you two live together) but of course he’ll try and stop you. It won’t be a forceful or even aggressive attempt, but he is going to try hard to get you to change your mind. As much as possible. And when that doesn’t work, again, he just gets angry. Mostly at himself, because he knows this is his fault and this wouldn’t have happened had he gotten a hold of himself back then. But you leave and he knows there’s little he can do about it

•So then let’s say it’s a few months down the line. I’d say weeks, but for the sake of amplifying the angst, let’s just make it months. The RFA chat is extremely tense at first. Everyone’s worried about taking sides and whether or not this will affect party planning. But you handle RFA business as usual, and eventually, it’s just routine for you and Zen to keep out of chats at the same time

•Besides constantly messaging you and calling you after the breakup (which for this sake, let’s say you ignore all of it) he’d also attempt to come see you at least one or twice when he was really desperate to get you back. But maybe you moved and never told him the address? And convincing Seven not to disclose your address to Zen was a whole ordeal too because again, Seven doesn’t wanna pick sides. But if you told Seven how serious it was (and maybe cried a little because come on. You’re sad, you’re gonna be crying at some point, and Seven can’t handle that) then Seven would probably help you out and keep Zen away. Which is a problem because you know how forceful Zen can be when it comes to you, so Seven’s gonna have to deal with that for a while…

•Zen has a veryyyyy bad habit of getting jealous though. When he reads through chats and sees that you’re having fun and joking with the others (Jumin especially. He knows he’s settled the beef with Jumin but it starts nagging at him) it just pisses him off. So lots of nights, Zen sits in bed and forces himself not to read over past chats that you’ve been in because he knows it’s just going to frustrate him

•Also just letting you know right now he definitely cried at times. Not like bawling. But especially a few days/weeks after you two broke up when it was still fresh. He cried a little. Poor Zen

•At parties you stay away from each other, only acting cordial for the sake of paparazzi. And speaking of the paparazzi, whether or not the story leaks that you two have split is pretty much dependent on how well you hide it. Zen would likely not want to hide it because it hurts him to pretend like everything is okay. But equally, he knows it’s probably best to act like everything is fine so the media doesn’t blow up and try to badger you with questions. He wouldn’t want you to be overwhelmed with any of that. So he’d do it for your sake

•But at some point, you think he’s forgotten about you because there’s really no contact. After you ignored his messages and calls for so long, he learns it’s not worth it to bother you anymore. So when he stops making that effort, you regret it. Because it really looks like he’s just moved on and that’s when you realize that you miss him… and assuming the whole ordeal with the media went in the wrong direction and they found out about the break up, there may or may not be rumors that he already has a new girl in his life. You know how the media is, always twisting what they can. But you can’t really ask Zen for confirmation, and you don’t ask anyone else in the RFA because you don’t want them to possibly mention it to Zen. So it’s frustrating to think that he really may have someone new in his life

•Somewhere down the line Zen is just soooo tired of carrying the weight of sorrow on his shoulders. It’s affecting his life, and probably his job too. So he decides he needs to say something to you

•Someone else might have even encouraged him to do so. Maybe Jumin? Coming from Jumin, some encouragement would mean a lot to Zen because Jumin just has a way of persuading him, of course. But really anyone in the RFA could do it

•He’ll write this long ass text that he probably didn’t prepare beforehand and won’t proofread once it’s done, because he just needs to send it. He just needs to get it over with. He doesn’t even know if you’re going to reply or even read it, but he has to do it. It’s gonna go something like:

“Hey. I know it’s been a while. Sorry I haven’t called or messaged you but I thought you would just keep ignoring me… Anyway, the last few months haven’t been fun. Not at all. I’ve had your contact up so many times wanting to call or message you but I could never type anything out. When I think about what happened I hate myself and I get so mad but then I’m also happy, because I see you at the RFA parties and you’re happy. Well at least you look happy. Happier than you looked the last few weeks we were together… But I hope you really are happy. If you are, then that’s all I want. Damn. I sound so stupid. But I still care about you and I still think about you all the time. I get in these really depressed moods sometimes but then I just look at this *attaches a photo he took of you, probably of you smiling or you sleeping or something cute* and I feel better. Christ… This is so stupid of me to do, and after so long. After I was such a jerk. But I had to. I just need you to know that I still love you… that’s all”

•And after reading all this, maybe you’ll concede immediately. Maybe after hearing from him after so long and hearing him say such gentle things, you’ll want him back. But maybe it’s not that easy. Maybe you object, and tell him that he has no right to come and say this when he didn’t even apologize to you for what happened. And that you’re not having a better time dealing with this either. But you’d tell him that you just couldn’t handle feeling like you were second to his job and it’s not easy to forget. You’re just very angry, and can’t shake off the months of heartache so easily

•At which point, he’s going to call you. Because arguing over text is not something Zen appreciates. Plus, he’s just surprised that you even replied to him so he wants to take the opportunity to at least hear your voice. It’ll be nerve-wracking talking to him after so long, but your first and foremost goal is to make him see why you suggested separating in the first place. And that although you did want to stand by him when it came to his acting, there was a point where he really needed to tone it down because it was affecting you

•This arguing will go back and forth for a while until he just comes out and says it “_______. I miss you. A lot. And I am so sorry for what happened. I know I was really invested in my work and I should have remembered that I needed to take care of you too. But I meant everything I said in that text and you should know I didn’t mean any of what I said to you that day. I was just really mad… I want to see you. Can we meet? Or maybe, talk after the next party?”

•Whether you concede and let him come over, or you wait until the next party, Zen is still going to be an anxious mess because he’s not quite sure about your stance on all of this? What if he goes to see you, only to receive a face-to-face rejection? Is it even worth meeting up with you when he doesn’t know what you want? But he’s also hoping that maybe you still love him too and that it will work out

•When you meet and talk he’s pretty much going to repeat everything he’s said before. He’ll apologize, admit to being a jerk, assure you that even though acting is important you will always come first, and tell you that he misses you. And that he still wants to be with you, if that’s something you would even consider. He may cry a little, just saying

•Hopefully by the end of it you’ll have forgiven him and hey, maybe you’ll be crying too. So you’re both just a giant mess of crying and emotions and he’ll pull you into a tight hug because no!!! He doesn’t like it when you cry!!!! He didn’t meant to make you cry!!!! But he’ll keep telling you how sorry he is and that you don’t need to cry and that he loves you. So beautiful. Love him

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