This didn’t make it as a scenario but I’ve come across lots of Kisame hoes lately and thought I might give this a try because it’s cute. And thank you! (nice icon (((((: btw )


•First of all, Kisame is rattled when he hears his s/o can’t swim. He teases them endlessly. Especially if they’re a shinobi. He just makes fun of them. How do you not know how to swim? You can learn how to walk on water but can’t swim. Okay, s/o. Because that makes sense

•If they’re too nervous he’ll start them off at the shallow end, but won’t yield his teasing. Kisame is just like that. He has to be teasing them almost constantly

•Of course his Akatsuki garb is off and his s/o can see that hot bod. Might be a little bit of a distraction

•He tries to be ‘tender’ when he’s teaching his s/o. He doesn’t have a problem with patience, but he often has the urge to just throw them into the deep end and see how they do, because he doesn’t really know how to teach someone to swim. He thinks you should just do it. Plain and simple

•He’ll pretty much treat them like a little child. Starting them off of course, with the doggy paddle. He laughs at them if it looks really pitiful. He can’t help it. He considers this less of a lesson and more of his own personal entertainment

•He drags them to the deep end eventually, even if they protest. He likes it when they cling to him and get all scared 

•I headcanon that if you use your chakra right, and you’re especially agile in the water, you can float without needing to move your limbs? Kisame definitely has that proficient chakra control, and the water is his domain. So having free hands means he can hold his s/o while they’re in the deep end

•He jokes about dropping them and letting them drown tbh. He sometimes lets go of them for a split second just to hear them yelp, but he grabs them again, grinning that sharp grin. He doesn’t care if they yell at him. This is just really fun for Kisame okay

•At the end of the day, they’ll have learned how to swim. Once Kisame has had his fill of tormenting them, he gets to business, still being relatively patient. The teasing doesn’t end though. He brings it up when they’re arguing (light arguing, like playful fights?) just to remind them and embarrass them, especially if they make a good point in the argument and try to disparage him in any way. “That might be true… but remember when I had to teach you how to swim, ________?”